Forsaken
by Halcyon.Promise
Summary: In the aftermath of the simulation and the attack on Abnegation, Dauntless has become divided. Intent on his goal, Eric goes to Amity to seek out key persons of interest that Amity is suspected of hiding. What he finds there may very well break his resolve.


**A/N: This reads as a part two to "Forgiveness" and will make much more sense if you read that first. This is a prompt from tumblr. I'm always accepting them! Feel free to drop by. The direct link is on my homepage here.**

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I sit quietly in the store-room and try to control my breathing. It is illogical, I know, but in the dark I feel the walls pressing close around me. I wish, for the first time in my life, that I were _less_ Dauntless. Even if I wear Amity colors to hide my tattoos and take out my piercings, nothing short of shearing my hair off completely will eradicate the touch of my faction.

My former faction.

I imagine that I can hear his voice as I sit in the dark. I know that Eric is out there. He is looking for Four, for the Abnegation leader that came with him, for Tris Prior and her brother. I do not understand, but then, I don't really want to. My sanity is already a precarious thing. I oscillate between grief and rage so effortlessly that no one has wanted to speak with me lately.

I cannot blame them. Frankly, I am shocked that they let me here in the first place. I suppose if they brought Peter with them, I am an easier presence to stomach.

If I shut my eyes, I am taken back to the day of the simulation.

_ I have thrown myself with reckless abandon down the stairs to the main level, and I sprint wildly through the compound. I hear Eric behind me, but he is slowed by other Dauntless members. They seek reassurance, they seek answers and as a leader he is supposed to be the one who can give them that._

_Laughter bubbles in my throat. Eric. Reassurance. Even as his lover, he never gives me such a thing. Maybe it is because I know him too well._

_Still, I take every opportunity afforded to me to gain an edge on the man that I know will not stop chasing. It is only out of luck I think, that I hear shouts from another corridor. Feet slap against the stone in a dead run that matches my own. I recognize them...well, some of them. There is a shock of grey which startles me in this compound of Dauntless black. What is Abnegation doing here?_

_Four is with them, though, and if anyone has ever opposed Eric with any real consistency (or any real success) I know that it has been him. I change my course as I realize where they are headed. The train._

_When I fling myself in after them, Four raises a gun at me. For a moment, we lock eyes. He puts it down, then, and I do not know why. It isn't until later that I realize tears are streaming down my cheeks. We don't talk. No one in that train speaks. Whatever thoughts we have weigh us down, and they are our own to struggle with._

And now I am in Amity and even a few nights' uninterrupted sleep have not helped me. Grief claws at the back of my throat and the most frustrating thing is that I cannot say what it is for. Do I want to cry over the fact that I have left Eric? Or do I fight back tears when I realize, more and more, the ramifications of what he has done?

It is probably both, I decide as I bring my knees up to my chest. The silence is insufferable, the darkness, even more so. I have to wait, imagining every scratch as someone pushing through the door to find me. And then what?

The shouting is not a figment of my imagination, though. Like a shot I am on my feet, pressed around a shelf so I am not in immediate sight if someone opens the door. My eyes burn as light floods in, but Four's voice is perhaps the greatest reassurance that I have these days. It is no different now.

"We need to go. Fast."

I stagger forward into the hall of the Amity dorms, blinking away my eye's shock at the brightness. Stumbling into a run alongside Four (and Tris) I cannot help but smirk. "Nice shirt," I say as I hit my stride.

His growl makes no sense to me but Tris's peal of laughter is a surprise. We have not laughed much recently. To laugh now, of all times, seems beyond absurd. But this entire situation is so far from normal that I do not know what to expect anymore.

A shot ricochets off the wall and Four ducks away with a swear. I size it up as we run past. Another volley of shots go off just as we round a corner and this time, I am the one who swears. We are getting closer to the train but the rest of the Dauntless that have come are converging on the same spot. Not all of us are runners, not the Abnegation or.. well. Whatever Caleb Prior is these days. Maybe factionless. Maybe we are all factionless at this point?

The thought is one I cannot wrestle with now. "Go!" I shout at Four as I slow, turning in a direction that takes me away from the train. He gives me an incredulous look, but I know what I am doing. He must see it in my face, and makes no comment.

I am running towards the Dauntless now, with that treacherous ribbon of blue on their sleeve. They have come with heavy machinery. Clearly, they are still working with Erudite. Shoving my way out of the door into the open, I don't bother running further. My hands are tucked back into the pocket of the borrowed pants that don't fit me well and I stare at them.

They recognize me. I raise my eyebrow and I force a sardonic smile onto my face. "I shouldn't be surprised that the next time I see you you're having people shoot at me," I tell Eric.

A muscle tics in his jaw as it is clenched tight. I have distracted them with my fearless (reckless?) approach. I don't close the distance between us though. If he wants me dead, I will be shot. But he will look me in the eyes as it happens, I swear to myself, and I lock my gaze to his and don't look away.

"Take her into custody. Someone, give me a status on the sweep of the goddamn building." His voice is sharp in the air and I feel my arms being wrenched out of my pockets by the Dauntless who has approached me from behind.

I recognize him, but I do not give him the courtesy of friendliness. I will not forget what they have done. What they are doing. My wrists are tied behind me, a hand heavy on my shoulder. As if I were going to go anywhere now? I almost laugh at the ludicrousness of it all but I manage to contain my (rather hysterical) mirth.

Someone else nervously clears their throat. "We need to start again with the building search. All teams gave pursuit when suspects began running."

Vicious satisfaction wells in my breast. They dropped everything to chase after Four, Tris, and I. If I am the only one here, then I am the only one they have. Triumph gives steel to my bones as I remain looking steadily at Eric. I am familiar enough with him to see the temper, even though his reply is curt, and the rest of the squad returns to their search.

He paces forward, agitation in every step. Seizing my upper arm, he dismisses the man who had secured me, and drags me along with him to the armored vehicle. I do not resist, even as he begins swearing.

"Why?" There is something of agony in his voice as he asks me this. We both know that this cannot end well. He will do what he has to do.

I shake my head, eyes finding the railroad tracks that had taken the others safely away from here. "It was the right thing to do."

Neither of us speaks after that. My accusation does not need to be given words. If he and I both have done what we believe is the right thing to do, then we are irrevocably at odds now. I am sorry for what I have lost, but I will not be sorry for what I have done. Not even Eric can make me feel that.


End file.
